Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Can I resign from being a parent?

What? I can't? Read the small print? Dude! But I didn't know it was going to be like this...

I told my husband that one phrase sums up our evening with the kids...it is from the movie, Dodgeball..."If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a dodgeball." And we've been dodging wrenches all night...

I know...you're thinking I'm a whiner...complain, complain, complain is all I ever do...but dude...this is my blog...it's my only place to vent!

Necessary background info: Pediatric Bipolar Disorder has only been recognized as being valid and therefore truly studied for the past 10-15 years. And really, no drug other than Lithium has been seriously followed/researched/documented in children. The down side to Lithium-it has to be monitored closely so that it doesn't reach toxic levels, which in turn means several blood draws for the patient. Knowing this information, it naturally follows that 1) the school system hasn't knowingly dealt with a lot of bipolar students and therefore hasn't learned quite how to help these students like they could/should 2) Any medication prescribed for Pediatric Bipolar--other than Lithium--is considered experimental which means you are trudging through unknown territory.

Fast forward to present day/my life: Last week I met with my younger daughter's teachers in an attempt to get her more of the help that she needs. While the teachers seemed fairly receptive, they are unskilled in dealing with psychiatric illness and therefore make her feel singled out and condescended to with their attempts to help her. "Little" things like saying "Your mom said your bipolar makes you forgetful" instantly piss her off. I don't blame her. She feels as if anyone--regardless of medical condition--would feel the same way she does in her circumstances, so when they add "your bipolar disorder causes this" she feels as if she is different from everyone else. Well, in a way she is and in a way she isn't. Not everyone has a mood disorder, but I also can't think of anyone who likes to be told "You're doing this because of your (insert medical condition here)." To make a long story short--she hates the changes they have implemented and she ranted/cried/incessantly harped about it from the time I got home from work until the time she went to bed...seriously...that's over 4 hours. I tried my best to change topics, address her concerns, stop the freight train...but she wasn't having any of it. I ended up having to give her an extra dose of meds (written in her prescription/OK'd by doctor) because she was so agitated. Everything set her off--a sigh, a questionable tone of voice, a delayed response--it all pissed her off tonight.

My oldest daughter came home from her school musical practice and was severely ticked because...well normal angst-ridden teen feelings of inadequacy. She actually tried to tell me at 8pm that she was taking a shower and THEN was going to start her 5 paragraph essay that is due tomorrow...WHAT? No, no ,no...homework first, then shower if there's time. Oh boy! That set her off into a drama queen tirade full of tears and attitude...to which Mom responded "Tough crap. Write your essay."

Throw in a husband who had class tonight (evening classes to finish up his degree) and then came home and took a nap...and 2 puppies that wanted to eat my couch...Am I overreacting or do I have some right to be frazzled?

This of course then leads in to my own personal dilemma...when I have Mood Disorder Central for a home where crises always abound and a full-time job outside of the home--how do you add things like global warming, peak oil, presidential elections and eating locally to the mix? Right now, I just want to rip open a plastic-wrapper encased non-sustainable Snickers bar and chow down! I want to get in my pollution-causing car and drive far, far away... I want to accept the plastic bag from the store in case I decide to stick it over my head! I don't want to research which candidate to vote for because none of them are in my home tonight dealing with my life...

So what do I do instead? I hang on with my last, very frazzled nerve until the kids are in bed. I put the dogs in their kennel. I leave my Guitar Hero husband in the living room to rock like nobody has ever rocked before...I sit down at the computer and I vent to the blogosphere...in a few minutes I'll go to sleep and when I wake up, tonight will have turned into a distant memory. I won't have contributed positively to the world like Crunchy's reusable pad drive...I won't have figured out who to vote for...I won't have made any further steps in the eco-friendly department. On the flip side--No one died/my family is safe. I have food in the cupboard, shelter, and even if I don't always feel it--love.

No, I'm not going to resign...even if my contract would let me... There is an old Japanese proverb that says: Fall seven times. Stand up eight.
It is my mantra. Of course, I will keep on moving forward. Of course, things will look better in the morning. Of course, things will be just ducky again.

Wow! That was cathartic...we should do this again sometime...you are such a great listener!

15 comments:

Fake Plastic Fish said...

"I won't have contributed positively to the world like Crunchy's reusable pad drive."

Yes you will. You just did. Must be hard to summon the energy to write about dealing with children's mood disorders while dealing with one's own depression/mood issues.

We should chat privately sometime. Feel free to send me an email. beth [at] fakeplasticfish [dot] com.

Burbanmom said...

Hang in there Ducky. Tomorrow just might be better :-) And if it's not, I won't tell ANYONE about the Snickers bar....

leslie said...

Oh, Ducks!
I came to tell you that between you and Burbanmom and the broccoleeeeeee song, you have totally altered my mood to semi- hysteria! I have spent the last day humming to myself, and thinking... going to the traaaaaassshhhhh, putting out the liggghhhhttttt, folding up the clooooothes, walking with the dooooooooog, watching the TVeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You guys are killin' me over here :)

I had a rant the other day. Perfectly normal, I think.
I may well have blown steam for four hours if my teacher had been that patronizing. I particularly like when people say to me...It's because of your 'hormones'. Same damned hormones I've always had. Wanna make somethin' of it?? HMMM????

Good choice, Snickers. Save me one.

Oh, full lunar eclipse last night. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

It's great tosee that someone actually rants about their kids, dogs and electronic playing/ napping husbands-drama queens and mood disorders...you may not feel you contributed positively to this world but ya did to mine-at least I don't have to feel like I'm the only one out there with a household in perpetual chaos!

Anonymous said...

Genial post and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you for your information.

Anonymous said...

Easily I assent to but I dream the list inform should secure more info then it has.

Anonymous said...

Good afternoon www.blogger.com members.

Are you looking to get your Local Store [b]Listed on top of Yahoo[/b] search engine? Maybe you are looking to get more unique visitors? We have the solution for you! We offer you an exclusive chance to experiance the knowledge of our [b][url=http://xrumer-blast.com/marketplace/xrumer-products/]Xrumer Services[/url][/b]. [url=http://www.xrumer-blast.com][img]http://xrumer-blast.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif[/img][/url]

It is NOT spam! This is a human created entry specifically created to demonstrate the power of our automated software and its potential of getting to wide variety of audience in an effective and time saving manner.

We are a group of veteran [b][url=http://xrumer-blast.com/about-xrumer-blast-com/]Internet Marketers[/url][/b] and [b]SEO Experts[/b] that provide [b]Affordable, High Quality, [url=http://xrumer-blast.com/marketplace/seo-products/]SEO Service[/url][/b]. Post your message on thousands of forums, message boards, blogs and journals and gain organic traffic in a matter of days! With the help of our [b][url=http://xrumerblast.livejournal.com/]Search Engine Optimization Experts[/url][/b] your [b]Blog URL[/b] can appear on [b]9336[/b] journals and blogs. Receive almost instant growth of SERPS, Get thousands of quality backlinks directly to your Store without lifting a finger!

Our goal is simple; we want to make you and your website on the top of every search engine so you and your family can enjoy the comfort of steady, automatic income without leaving your home. Trough our [b][url=http://xrumer-blast.com/contact-xrumer-blast-com/]SEO Expert Advice[/url][/b] you will get one of the best support seen in the industry. As part of our [b]Search Engine Optimization Services[/b], we take care of everything for you, from Optimizing your Website for search engines all through ranking your Store on the first page of your Bing.

For more information regarding [b]Search Engine Optimiztion[/b] and [b]Xrumer Blast Services[/b] check out [b][url=http://xrumerservice.livejournal.com/]SEO Experts[/url][/b]. Our site includes everything you need to order your first [b]Xrumer Blast[/b], you can create the most appropriate message (Project) to suit your Forum, send us the information and after the payment clearance we will start working immediatly!

[url=http://xrumer-blast.com/marketplace/][img]http://xrumer-blast.com/wp-content/uploads/Xrumer-Blast-Logo.png[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone


Mansour Engineering always considers adding high performance features in large capital projects that maximize operational energy savings; improve comfort, health, and safety of occupants and visitors; and limit detrimental effects on the environment.

[url=http://www.mansour.ca] click here to go to Mansour Engineering[/url]


http://www.mansour.ca

Anonymous said...

Howdy,

Do you guys watch movies in theater or on internet? I use to rent DVD movies from [b]Netflix.com[/b]. Recently I discovered that we can watch all new movies on internet on day, they are released. So why should I spend money on renting movies??? So, can you guys please tell me where I can [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]watch latest movie Going the Distance 2010[/url] for free?? I have searched [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]Youtube.com[/url], [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]Dailymotion.com[/url], [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]Megavideo.com[/url] but, Could not find a good working link. If you know any working link please share it with me.


Thanks

Anonymous said...

רציתי להתחלק אותכם בחוויה אשר עברתי לאחר הפיגוע בדולפינריום. במהלך חצי שנה אחרי המקרה, הרגשתי מדוכאת, ללא שמחת חיים, עייפה ומדוכדכת. בכל טיפול רפואי רגיל לא הצלחתי לעזו לעצמי ולכן פניתי ל- [b][url=http://www.maker.co.il/3_15707/%D7%9E%D7%90%D7%9E%D7%A8/%D7%9B%D7%9C-%D7%94%D7%A2%D7%95%D7%91%D7%93%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%A2%D7%9C-%D7%A0%D7%A4%D7%A9-%D7%94%D7%90%D7%93%D7%9D-%D7%95%D7%A2%D7%99%D7%A1%D7%95%D7%99-%D7%A8%D7%A4%D7%95%D7%90%D7%99-(%D7%9E%D7%A1%D7%90%D7%92%60).html]עיסוי[/url][/b] רפואי אלטרנטיבי. המליצו לי על מעסה מקצועי מ-Spa-Vip.co.il - עיסוי עד הבית, אשר כולל מסאג שוודי מצויין אשר גרם להתעוררות חושים תוך טיפול אחד בלבד. אין לי מילים לתאר את השינוי אותו עברתי, אומנם זה היה טיפול עיסוי איורוודה ראשוני, הרגשתי נפלא, פיזרתי את השיער ויצאתי מה- [b][url=http://www.academics.co.il/Articles/Article12945.aspx]מסאג[/url][/b]' עם כח מחודש, מחייכת ומוכנה להמשך.

עיסוי האיורוודה הוא עיסוי משולב עם מוזיקה נעימה, נרות ומוזיקה נעימה. ההתחלה של עיסוי היא מגע עדין מעל המגבת לאחר חשיפה של הגוף מכף רגל ועד ראש. מריחת שמן חם מכף רגל ועד הראש, אח"כ תנועה עדינה ומלטפת מכף רגל ועד ראש ובחזרה. אחרי כמה תנועות עדינות עוברים לצד השני של הגוף, אחרי אותם תנועות על צידו השני ישנו תהליך של לחיצות רפואיות מכיוון שהגוף התרגל למגע נעים ומרגיע וזה גרם לשרירים להרפות מעט... כל זה בטיפול פרטי של [b][url=http://www.academics.co.il/Authors/Author2173.aspx]מעסה[/url][/b] מקצועי עד בית הלקוח!

אישית לא האמנתי כי דברים כאלה יכולים להיות עד אשר חוויתי מסאז שוודי ברמה כזאת, המעסה המקצועי הגיע עד לביתי עם מגע שלא הכרתי אשר לא תיארתי שיכול להיות. אני ממליצה בחום לכל אחד ואחת אשר חשבו על עיסוי, מסאג' או פינוק מטריף חושים בסוף שבוע על Spa-VIP.co.il.
[img]http://spa-vip.co.il/_images/apixel.gif[/img]

Anonymous said...

Good day


http://www.BuySellDirect.net free ebay like website is the Future of E-commerce and I think you can make money at home and it will not cost you any money at all. It is FREE


I love http://www.BuySellDirect.net because it is FREE

buy viagra said...

hi, I like this information, I really enjoyed this post!
viagra online
generic viagra

Anonymous said...

Hi

[url=http://www.internetmosque.net ] audio English only Quran for the first time on the internet [/url]


"Do Islam and Christianity have different origins?"

No. Together with Judaism, they go back to the prophet and patriarch Abraham, and their three prophets are directly descended from his sons--Muhammad (SAW) from the eldest, Ishmael, and Moses and Jesus, peace be upon them, from Isaac. Abraham established the settlement which today is the city of Makkah, and built the Ka'ba towards which all Muslims turn when they pray


For more details [url=http://www.internetmosque.net ]click her[/url]






|

All of us will die one day INCLUDING YOU.

so before you die you must find out where the HELL you are going too.

You must find out

who is our savior Jesus or ?

You may sleep tonight and never get up in the morning?

You may die today.

You may die within a week

You may die within a month

you may die within a year

you may die within the next ten years

one thing for sure

You will die

so find out how is our savior so that he may save you.

http://www.internetmosque.net/saviour/index.htm

http://www.internetmosque.net/songes/s/1.htm

http://www.internetmosque.net/songes/s/17.htm

http://www.internetmosque.net/

http://www.internetmosque.net/quran/quraneng/index.htm

http://www.internetmosque.net/audio...n_Yahya/1_w.htm

http://www.internetmosque.net/audio...f-Estes/1_w.htm

http://www.internetmosque.net/audio...ilips/1-1_w.htm

Anonymous said...

[b]King Of Pirate Online[/b]

King Of Pirate is a fully 3D-designed multiplayer online game based on 5,000 years of pirate history.

In it, comical pirate characters and creatures travel the high seas and encounter intricate story-based quests,

wondrous cities and beautiful landscapes in their search for treasures fit for a king – or a king's ransom!

Though the excitement of ship-to-ship combat is a heady brew for newcomers and veterans alike,

many players take pride in their place among the community. Whether you seek to enforce the laws of the KoP world,

http://www.KingOfPirate.com





Tales of pirates private server
pirate king online private server
top/pko private server
private server
igg top
igg

Anonymous said...

http://www.msn.com/ - [url=http://www.msn.com/]msn[/url] msn
msn