Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Imperfect Beginnings

I have little/no idea what I'm doing with this blog. JD is hesitant about my blogging as he doesn't want to see my feelings get hurt. Not everyone out in Cyberland is nice...he knows I sometimes take things too personally. Yet here I am, typing away regardless. This week I am in the Tampa/Clearwater, Florida area on business. I have some extra time on my hands, so I thought this was as good of a time as any to start writing.
Why the title "Just Ducky"? Good question...I have a nice little collection of rubber ducks I keep on my desk at work. When I've been staring at the computer, racking my brain over a problem for far too long, I look at the ducks and everything seems lighter, happier, not so overwhelming. My life has been far too overwhelming in general the past 6 months...
You see, I have two daughters. The youngest was suspected of having Bipolar Disorder when she was 6 years old. By the time she was 8, she had a triple diagnosis of ADHD, Bipolar Disorder and ODD. I'm not one of those mothers that medicate their children and don't parent responsibly.....The child was having 2-3 hour-long rages where she would scream and cry and destroy things and hurt anyone who got in her way. It wasn't her "fault"---she has an illness... or rather 3 of them. She does take medication and does pretty well now. She doesn't have rages anymore---now we just struggle with the mania from time to time.
This fall, my older daughter kind of "wigged out". I don't say that in an uncaring way. If you've experienced a beloved family member having psychiatric issues, then you know what I mean. Anyways, she needed help, so she too was placed into counseling and just recently prescribed medication. Although she doesn't have an official diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, that's where it looks like it's headed. There is a family history of Bipolar on their biological "father's" side of the family...My husband (JD) is the girls' father...that guy just shares DNA with them. I refer to that guy and his wife as "Fruit Loop and Sugar"....not for any psychiatric reasons, but because it makes me laugh. I, of course, have never referred to them as Fruit Loop and Sugar around the children, but when I'm at work or alone with my husband or writing on this blog (which the kids won't read) then I call them Fruit Loop and Sugar. It makes me giggle just typing those words.....
I am not flippant or callous about my children's situation. I have long been diagnosed with/treated for severe depression. Some days are good. Some days suck. The kids have been "lava lamping" all fall/winter thus far with mania and depression. Medication changes, a hospital visit....have made the past few months interesting. Throw in a new puppy to spice things up more and you get a huge depression cocktail just waiting to be served.....Everyone has issues. These are mine. They could be worse. No one has died. We all love each other. Everything is Just Ducky.

2 comments:

theotheranonymous said...

be strong, jd, be strong...

whenever you want to talk...i will listen...my words are not in stone...but hope is in what we share...

Kathy said...

Oh boy C!

I just know I'm going to love reading your posts. This is great! I'm not surprised JD (my bro) not you JD, just ducky (this could get confusing)is concerned about weirdo physco internet types, but I've been blogging for 2.5 years and I'm fine.
I think you'll find blogging is very theraputic. It feels good to write whatever comes to your mind and even get an unbias opinion or 2 about it.
Keep a thick skin with some comments, but most people are nice. It's really nothing more than modern day journaling.

your sis,
Kat