Monday, January 7, 2008

The need to be silent and still...

Have you ever felt like things were falling apart around you so fast that you needed to be silent/still? I'm talking internally...spiritually...whatever...

This was a rough morning. Nothing catastrophic--bipolar child in the throws of mania, dog decides to poop on the carpet, again...teenage child and her friends think they know everything about politics and the economy...husband stressed out by job/life...

When I finally got to work (late), I sat down and almost started crying (or leaking as my husband calls it), but then I just thought "I need to be still. I need to be silent." What does that mean exactly? I don't know. I'm not talking about some oppressive "Shut up and hold it all inside" kind of thing. I'm talking about an internal kind of quiet. Purposefully taking time to make the carousel-on-acid that is my life stop for just a moment while I re-group. No TV, no music, no talking, certainly no dogs barking... Maybe that is meditation. Maybe it's "centering yourself"...I don't know...I just have this voice that keeps saying: Be still. Be silent.

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